The Big Flip

Meet Gregor and Violet, another “big flip” couple where the wife is breadwinner and the husband takes care of home, hearth, and menagerie.

But first, THANK YOU to Gregor and Violet—for bravely and generously volunteering for the documentary.  It is not easy to open up one’s home and soul to the world.  We are grateful for their trust.  Their trust in us the documentary filmmakers.  And their trust in you the viewers, in finding insights from their story in a respectful and compassionate spirit.

Discussion: defining your work to your strengths & passions

What makes you excited and good at what you do?  There are more ways than one to make home.  Like any other job, to excel, we have to play to our strengths—just as long as we contribute and add value to the team.

TAKE ACTION!

Like what we’re doing? Here’s what you can do to help us.

1) Share our stories! Tweet, LinkedIn, embed or mention in your blog, email—whatever you can to help us get the word out.

2) Join our mailing list, follow us on Twitter and Facebook, and stay informed as the project develops.

3) Say something! Join the conversation, share your story, or simply say hello and send us some love :-)

By the way, if you like Gregor’s design and construction work, check out his work here.

Background

“The Big Flip” is a documentary film and photo-book about the rise of breadwinner wives, and the unexpected challenges it creates in families.  This footage is from our first production fieldwork, when we went out to meet and profile potential families to feature in the documentary.  

Our goal is to follow the families throughout 2013, and witness their struggles and triumphs through life over the course of a year.  We plan to edit and develop the film and photobook for release in 2014.

From “Best Tough-Love Dad” to “Most Multi-Dad Household,” this is a fun read in the diverse ways dads define their roles in other animal species.  

This is one of the many of sources of inspiration for Jessica Gates’ design thinking piece for “The Big Flip.”

A Design Thought Piece for The Big Flip by Jessica Gates

THE EVOLUTION OF PARENTING 

Working with The Big Flip team, it has been eye-opening to be on the front lines of a major cultural shift.

More dads are staying home with the kids as moms take on the role of primary breadwinner. Although the great recession has contributed to this trend, men are actively choosing to be more involved in the home front. The 2010 U.S. Census showed an additional 150,000 men are stay-at-home dads, a trend that is projected to increase.

But while fatherhood is evolving, the marketplace is lagging behind. Old gender assumptions persist, and some still argue that women are just naturally better at taking care of the kids. After deeper inspection does this belief always hold true in nature? And can we look to the animal kingdom for inspiration and insight into helping dads and moms cope in this brave new world of parenting?

ENTER THE SEAHORSE

In some species, it’s the male who provides most care to the offspring. We all know about the seahorse. According to evolutionary ecologist Sara Lewis at Tufts University, “Seahorses are the champions of paternal care. They are one of the few animals where the males are morphologically specialized to take care of the young.” Daddy seahorses carry their young in a specially designed pouch that regulates water salinity. The mom is not involved until they mate again and she deposits another round of eggs. Quite the role reversal.

THE “CONNECTED” CARRIER FOR THE MODERN FAMILY

A product solution for dads (and moms too) could be designing a new “connected” carrier that combines inspiration from nature and new innovations in wearable technology. An embedded fabric sensor could help regulate a child’s temperature and alert the wearer when it’s time for a diaper change. The carrier could be stylistically designed to appeal to both men and women. (This has been a challenge for parents trying to find baby gear with a more neutral color palette.) 

HELPING MOTHERS STAY CONNECTED WHILE AT THE OFFICE

When interviewing mothers for The Big Flip, a reoccurring pain point has been the anxiety they feel over “missed moments” in their children’s lives.

Integrating recording technology into the carrier could help keep moms in the loop while dad and baby are going about their day. Voice recordings could be sent to moms and supplement smart phones as a way to capture moments that might otherwise be lost because you were juggling an infant and couldn’t get to your camera. A digital time capsule of your child’s first memories could be uploaded to the cloud and shared with family and friends.

LINKS & RESOURCES

Interested in learning more?  Here are two of the articles that I found particularly inspiring in my research.

Lessons from America’s animal kingdom in how to be a superdad

The evolution of fatherhood

MOVING FORWARD

Markets need to shake off old stereotypes to create products and services that thoughtfully address users needs. Just like the daddy seahorse, your customers may not always be who you think they are. 

~ Jessica

STAY IN TOUCH!

Join our mailing list to stay informed as we share more video and learnings from our shoots, and the project progresses.

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(All photos of Big Flip families—i.e. all photos except for Jessica’s sketches—by lead photographer Paige Green.)

What if…

How design thinking can improve the lives of Big Flip families.

Photos by lead photographer Paige Green.

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So, why do we need a product designer for a documentary project?

Because real change and improvements start in our everyday lives.  

HOW DESIGN SPREAD THE GREEN MOVEMENT BEYOND TREE-HUGGERS TO THE PEOPLE

The evolution of the green movement is an inspiration for what we want to accomplish.

Documentaries like “The Inconvenient Truth” and stories in the press got people to care about the earth and our environment.  But life often gets in the way of good intentions.  Back when earth-friendly products were hard to find except in a few crunchy-granola stores, it’s not easy for everyday people to live green when we have a job to keep and a family to raise.

Design innovations changed that.  Now we have all kinds of Bring-Your-Own-Bag options at the grocery store, from fancy-pants places like Whole Foods to more mainstream ones like Safeway.  From hybrid cars to hybrid light bulbs, it’s easier for more people to live green in a way that fits in with our everyday lives.

HELPING MEN AND WOMEN THRIVE IN THE BIG FLIP

That’s why we invited product designer Jessica Gates to join the Big Flip in our mission.  

Big Flip families have their hands full.  Breadwinner Wives are busy bringing in the bacon despite the rough economy and a slow-to-close gender income gap.  Modern Dads are busy raising kids in a society that continues to treat them as anomalies, making the already tough job of full-time parent even tougher (try looking for a diaper-changing table in a men’s room with a crying smelly baby in your arms!).

Changing the conversation with documentaries like the Big Flip is a start.  But what if businesses and organizations came up with new services, new products and new work policies designed to make Big Flip families’ lives easier and better? What if…

Jessica is here to dream up innovative possibilities to our “what if” questions.

INSPIRED DESIGN BENEFITS EVERYONE

I love this story Jessica told me about OXO products.  You know, the dish brushes and peelers that are so wonderful to use?  

They were originally designed for elderly and disabled people.  Well, turns out everyone appreciates products that are smartly-designed and easier to use. Now OXO products are found everywhere from Crate & Barrel to Target.  

BEYOND BIG FLIP FAMILIES TO ALL WORKING MOMS & DADS

Jessica and I believe that, if designed right, new products and services for Big Flip families will end up benefiting many other families.  They will make it easier for and encourage more working men to be active participants in the home and with the kids.  They will make it easier for and inspire working moms to lean into work with less guilt and more joy.

WHY WE’RE DOING THIS

Our ultimate goal for this project is to understand what it takes for men, women and families to thrive—for love and happiness to endure—in the brave new world where wives are breadwinners and husbands take care of home and children.  

Design thinking will complement our documentary storytelling to do that.

Come back tomorrow, and see the initial ideas that our test shoot has put in the head of Jessica, inspired product designer and founder of Pushup Consulting.

STAY IN TOUCH!

Join our mailing list to stay informed as we share more video and learnings from our shoots, and the project progresses.

© All Rights Reserved

(All photos of Big Flip families—i.e. all photos except for OXO and Pushup—by lead photographer Paige Green.)

More thoughts and photos on Bonnie and Chip from the incredible Paige Green!

(If you missed Part 1—Meet Bonnie and Chip, click here to view.)

(If you missed Part 2—Bonnie and Chip’s Big Flip, click here to view.)

The Big Flip—Bonnie and Chip—Part 3 from Izzy Chan on Vimeo.

Eager to see the next chapter in Bonnie and Chip’s lives?  So are we!  Our goal is to follow them throughout 2013, and share in (and learn from!) their journey.

Next week: DESIGN INNOVATION THOUGHT STARTERS

In addition to a new family, you’ll hear from Jessica Gates, industrial designer and founder of product design shop Pushup.  Jessica will let her imagination loose on innovation ideas to improve the day-to-day lives of families on the modern home front. Here’s a small window into what’s brewing in her mind!

Background

“The Big Flip” is a documentary film and photo-book about the rise of breadwinner wives, and the unexpected challenges it creates in families.  This footage is from our first production fieldwork, when we went out to meet and profile potential families to feature in the documentary.  

Our goal is to follow the families throughout 2013, and witness their struggles and triumphs through life over the course of a year.  We plan to edit and develop the film and photobook for release in 2014.

STAY IN TOUCH!

Join our mailing list to stay informed as we share more video and learnings from our shoots, and the project progresses.

© All Rights Reserved

In this 2nd video on Bonnie and Chip, they open up about the personal struggles and triumphs they experienced in their decision for Bonnie to take up the breadwinner role, and for Chip to step back from his business to focus on family and home.

(Click here to view Part 1—Meet Bonnie and Chip.)

The Big Flip—Bonnie and Chip—Part 2 from Izzy Chan on Vimeo.

Again, a heartfelt thank you to Bonnie and Chip—for their courage and generosity of spirit in opening up their lives to the world.  We are grateful for their trust in us the documentary filmmakers, and in you the viewers—to be respectful and compassionate as we draw inspiration and insights from their story.

Discussion: tell us about YOUR BIG FLIP JOURNEY

Share your story!  What led to your big flip?  What was toughest?  What was sweetest?

Tomorrow: Part 3—LOOKING FORWARD

Share in Bonnie and Chip’s excitement (and a few anxieties!) as they anticipate the arrival of baby number 4.

Background

“The Big Flip” is a documentary film and photo-book about the rise of breadwinner wives, and the unexpected challenges it creates in families.  This footage is from our first production fieldwork, when we went out to meet and profile potential families to feature in the documentary.  

Our goal is to follow the families throughout 2013, and witness their struggles and triumphs through life over the course of a year.  We plan to edit and develop the film and photobook for release in 2014.

STAY IN TOUCH!

Join our mailing list to stay informed as we share more video and learnings from our shoots, and the project progresses.

© All Rights Reserved

Let me introduce Bonnie and Chip.  Pioneers from the modern home front where wives are breadwinners while husbands take care of family and home.

But first, a big thank you to Bonnie and Chip—for their courage and generosity of spirit in volunteering for the documentary.  It is not easy to open up one’s home and private lives to the world.  We are grateful for their trust.  Their trust in us the documentary filmmakers.  And their trust in you the viewers, in finding insights and inspiration from their story in a respectful and compassionate spirit.

And now, a peek into footage from our first fieldwork!

The Big Flip—Bonnie & Chip—Part 1 from Izzy Chan on Vimeo.

Discussion: Beyond “Stay-at-Home Dad” and “Breadwinner Wife”

Many folks embrace and freely use the terms “stay-at-home dad” and “breadwinner wives.”  But others are uncomfortable with these labels.  What other phrases have you used or heard, that we can add to our vocabulary, and capture the diverse ways men and women define their roles in the modern family?

Tomorrow: Part 2—BONNIE & CHIP’S BIG FLIP

Come back tomorrow for more of Bonnie and Chip’s story on their “big flip,” and the emotional ups and downs they survived.

Background

“The Big Flip” is a documentary film and photo-book about the rise of breadwinner wives, and the unexpected challenges it creates in families.  This footage is from our first production fieldwork, when we went out to meet and profile potential families to feature in the documentary.  

Our goal is to follow the families throughout 2013, and witness their struggles and triumphs through life over the course of a year.  We plan to edit and develop the film and photobook for release in 2014.

STAY IN TOUCH!

Join our mailing list to stay informed as we share more video and learnings from our shoots, and the project progresses.

© All Rights Reserved

Our first test shoot for the Big Flip. 3 families, 1 luncheon, 3 days.  Here’s a taste of what we learned.

We learned that it gets cloudy in the Pacific Northwest.

We saw the magic that happens when we bring people together, and how much we learn just from sharing and listening to each other’s stories.

Rebecca shared her thoughtfully-planned strategies for avoiding the emotional booby traps around money, house chores and identity.

Robyn showed us it’s possible to stay deeply, madly, sweetly in love with the college sweetheart you married, as if time had never passed.  And this creates a generosity of spirit that lends great resilience to a long marriage.

Khemika taught us that we can choose to change from the roles and expectations we were taught growing up.  And that it’s important to keep a steely courage and confidence in your choices in the face of constant family pressures and questioning.

We learned many other things in our dim-sum-fueled conversation.  For instance…

• Women want to see that sparkle in his eyes.  When a husband can’t find a job, it’s not just the financial loss that hurts.  It’s watching that sparkle seep away from him that hurts the most.
• Marriages are happier when husband and wife have an “adult-adult” relationship.  Couples get less happy when interactions start feeling like an “employer-employee” relationship.  Things are definitely not happy when it feels like a “parent-child” dynamic.

AT THE YODER HOUSEHOLD, we learned that “keeping it real” is a mantra that keeps this family going.

We saw how Fred is the Master of Comedy in the household, teaching his children a crucial lifelong skill to take a step back and laugh.

And the joy he creates in the family fuels Robyn, Sammi and Joey.

We understand that sometimes, the breadwinner may fantasize about being the wife at home keeping house and caring for the kids. 

And the stay-at-home husband occasionally dreams of getting back out there to do what he loves.  

And it’s okay.  Because being real and honest about how we feel, not just how we should feel, is important.

We witnessed that, in embracing the chaos of their ever-blossoming family, THE WAN-REES CLAN found beauty and joy and wisdom.

We found out that Chip doesn’t think of himself as a stay-at-home dad.  He’s the family’s Social Director and Spiritual Center, the community arts organizer, and everyone’s favorite neighbor.  (Just don’t call him the mayor.)

We witnessed how Bonnie juggles work, parenthood, and motherhood—gracefully and professionally.  And how much she respects and adores Chip for what he’s doing for their kids and their home.

We learned that it’s not always easy. A mother may wonder what she may have lost, not being with her little ones as much as she’d like during their most precious years.

A man may wonder, what’s lost when his work is put on hold while he raises a family.

But Bonnie, Chip, Ziggy, Isla and Ruby also taught us that, when they come together as one, nothing is lost, and much more is gained with the unconditional love, support and safe haven of a tight-knit family.

And we wonder what else baby #4 will teach the Wan-Rees tribe when it arrives in May.

We learned all kinds of wonderful things we didn’t expect to at the MAGICAL MENAGERIE OF LEVY-MIZIUMSKI.

Violet and Gregor taught us that chickens can be beautiful. 

We learned that salamanders have funny ears.

Violet and Gregor showed us they love their cats.

We learned that Gregor is an incredible craftsman with a great reputation in construction and home improvement.  But even the most glowing reputation doesn’t bring in enough income when folks don’t have the money to spend on big home improvement projects.

But Gregor the Builder also showed us that there are many ways for a husband to contribute to the family, besides financially. 

Like fixing the bathroom floor.

Organizing the glassware.

Fixing up the basement.

Getting creative with decor.

Baking and cooking.

And making Violet laugh.

Gregor and Violet also taught us that, for them, the pressure they feel isn’t about the gender reversal.  It’s simply the challenge of trying to make it on one-income in what was once a two-income household.  

“If Gregor were a woman, or Violet were a man, and we were a gay couple—it would be no different.”

Gregor also demonstrated how to use “in the hour of the wolf” in casual conversation outside the world of Game of Thrones.  Well, maybe only Gregor and Violet can pull that off.

Paige and Winston learned that they quite like working together.

And we all learned that Izzy may not be the best child-wrangler.

The Big Flip – Izzy the Ineffective Child Wrangler from Izzy Chan on Vimeo.

Photos by lead photographer Paige Green.

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